Marriage...what about it??

Marriage, what about it ? why is it a compulsion ? why people get married ? I mean is it really what you want, I mean really, do you want it ???

If its about coming together of two souls then why run for the label ? Yes, I do think marriage is just a label which for some insane reason the whole world wants to run after or you are being put to run after. If you love someone just live with him/her, why the need for certification, the label ?

Sometimes I wonder do people get married because they want to get married or because they have to get married. Most of the time it is seen, that we get married or we are put to do so when we realize that everyone around us is getting married, be it the friends from school, be it your college friends, be it co-workers, and the worst breed being your cousins!!! And the realization of that ” breaking news” is so sudden and periodic that some actually get succumbed to it. And the worst source of that realization comes from our relatives, who have nothing else to do but to get us married. 

Sometimes I feel, this whole marriage thing is like a law in a communist country which if you don’t abide by, you will actually be persecuted, by none other than our parents, society and the obnoxious breed of all, the relatives. Its like a dagger hanging over your head at all times, waiting to be dropped at any time. I mean there is so much more to life than that, your career, your own wants and desires, what about them ? what if you just don’t want to get married, may be you just enjoy being single and focusing on other aspects of life, like, may be you just want to travel, may be you are still discovering yourself and still finding the YOU in this messy and overly populated world, may be you don’t want to get married when you are asked to do so, I mean there is so much more to life than just getting married. But no, the so called society won’t let you do so, the moment you cross 25, you are just forced into this dead zone and all you hear, all you see is the deadly atomic word called “MARRIAGE”!!! May be the guy wants to get married at 30 or 35, whats the big deal and the moment you express your views about marriage, its like you are so dead, you have just invited a world war at your doorstep!! Marriage is like a set barometer of ones state of happiness and success, you get married you are happy, you don’t get married you are a dead man!! The society will become a virtual murderer of your happiness and butcher you into tiny little pieces. The moment you say “I enjoy singularity”, you are considered either gay, impotent or being possessed by a demon. 

Marriage is like a certificate which you have to achieve and add to your already stake of files. Why are we made to run for it ? Why the rat race ? Why can’t it just be a choice ? Answer comes ” Oh who is going to take care of you when you get old ? Don’t you want kids ? ” Oh common, when was life ever predictable and came with a guarantee ? Plans often don’t materialize and we all know that, so why make that long term plan ? You want kids you can still have them what has marriage got to do with it ? Who is going to take care of me ? I can still live with the person I love, what has marriage got to do with it ? 

Its like marriage is an answer to your life, its your survival kit which you are made to believe and preach all your life, to which the alternatives are almost always inevitably ignored.

Marriage oh marriage….what about it……. 

Nirbhaya(Fearless)..I am a woman and I want to live..

I am a Woman and I want to live
I am a woman and I dare to dream, dream to shine, dream to get my share of joy, dream to match my steps with the men of this country, dream to bring joy to my parents. But why this sudden inhibition ?  why my conscience tells me there is something wrong? why my birth did not bring as much joy as did my brothers out there? Why kill me even before I am born? Why consider me a burden, a liability? I cook, I clean, I work, I am there when you need me and the least I ask for in return is respect, is that too much to ask for ? I decided to surge ahead in life with my dreams, for my little share in life, is that too much to ask for ? All I want is life, a peaceful life like you all out there, I never ask for anything but just respect. Besides being a girl, I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, you kill one you kill all !! You behead one head you behead all !!

I give birth to life, I brought you to this world and you had the audacity to despise and disrespect me? I carried you for 9 months in my own fetus and you grow up disrespecting my own kind? My eyes bleed seeing you becoming a species of a different kind. A kind I could have never imagined. A kind which has brought sorrow and suffering to such a stature and magnitude that, sadly, it goes well beyond my bearing threshold. I brought you to this world so that you would be called a man of respect and dignity, a man who holds women to utmost gratitude, but never knew you would turn into this barbaric psychopath having lost all his moral human grounds.

I am a girl and I dare to dream and you are no one to stop me. It's my country, it's my life, it's my mind, it's my body and I will do as I please. Don't tell me what to do and what not to do. I want to be a doctor and I will be one, I want to get educated and I will get it. Why put restrictions on me? Why tell me what to wear and what not to wear? Why should I be grounded and  not be allowed to get out at 12 midnight ? Why the biasness and favoritism to your sons and brothers? Why not put restrictions on them ? How come your sons and brothers can do whatever and whenever and still get away with ease? Just because he is a man? Why differentiate between me and him? He says he wants to go abroad and study you let him but why not me? He says he wants a bike, he gets a nod, I say I want a scooty and you say no ? He says he wants to party until late, you allow him, when I say I just want to go out for a walk at 9  you say no ? Why ?? Stop this nepotism, preferential treatment and gender biasness. Stop treating me like a puppet. Stop treating me like a commodity. Give orders to your sons and brothers and not me. Don't tell me how to behave but tell your sons and brothers how not to behave. Don't educate me but your owns sons and brothers. I am Oprah who makes billions with her talk show on TV, I am Sonia Gandhi who has the entire nation on her tips, I am the goddess who you worship and remember day and night, I am the mother earth who is nurturing you and last not the least I am a woman. So why this discrimination and double standards against my own kind?
Everyday I hear my own daughters are being tortured, harassed, subjected to such barbaric form of crime that its beyond expressing in words, that I bleed tears and my heart crunches with anger, despair and helplessness. To add to that my own people are questioning my character and credibility, blaming me for what I was not even aware of ? Denying me my own existing human rights? Is this the democracy I am living in ?  Is this the  ' Incredible India '  I am part of ? Should I still be proud? Enough!! I am not going to stand this anymore and watch you treat me like a substance of desirability and convenience. I am going to fight, fight for my own self, fight for my own daughters and sisters, I am not going to rely on this failed legal jurisdiction and politicians who time and again have failed to protect me and my own kind, who have failed to keep their promises, who begged for support when they needed and did nothing in return but questioned my rightfulness and denied me my own moral human rights, I am not going to depend on this spineless coward society who has done nothing but brought humiliation and disrespect to me and my own family, society that breeds a species who has blood in his hands and crime up his sleeves and is still walking around with no fear and shame, I am going to fight!! I am going to fight till my last breath, I am going to fight because it's my right to fight for my own peaceful living!
But even with so much despair, I foresee a revolution, ray of hope, hope that has brought much awaited awakening amongst the young blood of this generation, who are rising to fight against the norms, fighting to bring about change in law and people's mindset. I feel supported and spirited. But don't let this ignited light of spirit die down, it has been lit and now it's in our hands to carry it forward and accomplish our desired goals. Let the next generation know that our fight wasn't in vain. We are fighting for the right and respect of women in this country and we will keep it going as long as we can.

Jai Hind

A man who respects women

Incredible India's "Corporate Culture"

We all have heard of this term called 'corporate culture' but do we really know what exactly it means ? And even if we know and are really a part of it, does it really exist in India ? I can only speak from my own experience as I have had bit of my share in both parts of the world.
Having worked in North Amrica for a while and having experienced their corporate culture and when compared with that of India, I realize or rather curious about one thing, are we meagerly trying to apt their version or trying to create our own one ?  Whatever be the case, there definitely is a difference of IST and EST, technically and practically. Corporate culture typically implies how the organization interacts with its management and employees and how employees adhere to the company policies and treat each other, its reflected in their behavior, dress code, their code of conduct as per organizations policies and their interaction with one another. And thats just one tiny but comprehensive part of corporate culture, having said that, is it visible in the Indian working corporate environment ? If we are working for an organization, be it a MNC or domestically inclined company, do we really know what our company policies are ? do we know how to treat each other at work?
If I were to answer those questions from the western worlds 'working culture's ' point of view, I can certainly say one thing, company policies, rules of behavioral conduct etc are just few key points which are deeply embedded in almost every working professional, be it for the fear of loosing job, or just plain professional attitude. But if tables were to be turned towards Indian corporate culture and their working executives, I don't really see much of that in majority of the people. Be it the academicians or the business professionals, somewhere down the line they all get hit by the principles of judgements, 'kal karenge' and 'chalta hai' attitude. They somehow forget that its not a place where they come to relax but a place where they come to work. They somehow forget its not a place to show judgements and laxity but productive work and adhere by the core principles of treatment of equality. An organizations goal is just not to meet its sales and quarterly( or annual) targets but also root values of professionalism in its employees. Why, so often, do they forget it ? Almost every Indian company is associated or working with the western world, so why not learn something from them, why lack in values even after so many years of evolution of numerous metropolitan cities and MNC culture ?
The ' Sarkari' attitude is only for the sarkari officials, lets not mimic that in the private and MNC culture. If we have been successful enough to lure work and business from offshore countries then we might as well take those baby steps and learn how to actually conduct business in a professional and timely manner. Its just not about getting the work done somehow but a great deal also lies in following the protocol to get that done.
Conclusively, I am not saying become followers of the western corporate culture, but if there is a great deal to be learnt from them, especially if it is beneficial for us, then why not learn and virtually get their 2 cents ?
Incredible India can't be incredible without the much needed incredible corporate culture. 

India...abroad....

Of course gone are the times when only the riches could afford to go abroad or be able to send their kids away to a foreign country mainly ' The Americassss'. I mean of course still it's a dream for the masses in India but retrospective things have changed especially for bustling metropolitan crowd from cities like Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore etc. With the massive growth in the purchasing power of Indians in the recent times, rich becoming richer and evolution of the financial sector wherein banks are no more so stringent about giving loans to students who wish to pursue their higher education abroad, there has been a tremendous and multiplying surge in the numbers of students venturing overseas. And it's just not the students, numbers are equally higher for immigrants and professionals as well. But as obvious as it may seem, why such a never ending trend? Aren't we happy to live here in our own home country?  Aren't there enough  job opportunities here? Is our standard of living and quality of education so bad or let's say competitive that sustainability becomes difficult and its drives us to step away?  Or because it's a family trend or let's just say it's a badge that we want to flaunt (don't we Indians just love doing that anyway)? Or is the whole socio-political and economic environment in this country ?(which has been legendarily corrupted, since god knows when) But whatever the reason be, increase in brain-drain hasn't stopped and I wonder on my own personal front and because of my own personal experience, if given an opportunity why wouldn't an individual go?  Reasons are repetitive and have been heard of already, better job prospect, better standard of living, better educational facilities etc etc and of course 'Dollar' and 'Pound' has its own charm!!! (not sounding bombastic, rhetorical and pretentious).  But of course everything has its own pros and cons, grass isn't always greener on the other end. Competing in another country for everything amongst its own country mates is a challenge in itself, cases of racism is prevalent everywhere(but don't we have that in our own country as well) etc. Yes of course being away from one's home country has its price tag attached, we are away from our family and friends, we sometimes miss the hustle bustle, miss the festivals( as a matter of fact I think Indians abroad are more Indian than Indians in India) etc. But at the end of the day given the professional world we are in, what would bring bread and butter to our table, our patriotism or the better paying job? What would make us happy, pollution, power shortage, water shortage or a better standard of living where one can even drink water from the running tap?

Of course cribbing and just complaining won't solve any problems, we can have endless discussions and endless debates but at the end of the day we all know what the problems are, which if not acted upon soon and rectified, will continue to stir problems for our nation.

Karma

If we plot two different graphs with things expected and unexpected then ‘unexpected’ peaks, so what about the poor expected? Well it remains unanswered.
We as human beings have this natural tendency of expecting things to work out the way we want, the way we would love it to be, the way it could look more beautiful to us, and the way we have ever pictured that in our dreams but what is a story without the climax so there we have the so talked about invincible ‘unexpected’ coming into play. Things start to look gloomy, looks as horrible as it could, as if it wants to show its most horrifying face to us. We become the victim of devils non-nurtured hands. Disastrous of disasters take place, ‘no way out’ shows up from nowhere, solutions are way down the deep. So, there we are, cribbing for all the wrongs we seldom have done in the past, cursing our fate, reaching out to means to get things fixed and when undone we feel worse.
People say time heals, but does it really? Well if its applicable to masses it might not be applicable to certain people. We have problems in series, a string attached to another, if one ends then there arises the other. Its like life in its continuous form. Problems come and go and with each departure, irrespective of having solved or not, leaves behind seeds of the other uprising unexpected problems.
Talking about time healing, so by time healing do we mean that flowing is going? Unplugged? What I meant was as time flows are we too suppose to flow with it leaving behind the problems? Is it really easy? It might be for the highly practical people of our society which is good on their part, but what about the others? Can they really ignore it? as for what its said ‘ignorance is bliss’.
So there I was starting with unexpectations going to problems and standing on stack of problems remained unanswered as until now.
But life goes on, problems solutions solutions problems and so on. So, even we being a part of life have to live along not expecting the’ unexpected’ but then again at the end of it all, there is something waiting for us. Go and check it out for yourself.

(2008 blog)

Memories

Memories? What are they....and why do they exist? And if they do then why do they have to remain?
Why cant they be those scraps n pieces which comes n goes away with one blow of air.
Categorization of memories could also vary. For instance, what I am writing now would soon become a memory. What I did an hour before has already gone back to the memory box. What I cooked in the afternoon soon turned out to be memory continuation.
I often wonder why do we memories? And what do we memories? Childhood memorization of "abcd" to adolescent memorization of multiplication tables, teenage memorization of "h20" formation to trigonometry formulas, 20s memorization of job interview questions to memorization of bank account credits, memorization of “what to do for kids” to memorization of “early retirement plans" etc seems never ending. Some might argue about memorization of “ what to do for kids”, retirement plans etc....dude what is wrong with you? Well, its all a part of memory. You think because you inculcated something from past which eventually became memories.
Carrying forward, as I was talking about memorization of things, man, kudos to human mind!! We all can memorize so much and still have sustained, but apart from certain essential things, do we actually remember everything? Because seldom I come across something non-materialistic.
Do we memorize because we want to? Because we ought to? Or because we wish to? Well in my case I don’t know when was the last time I wished to memorize a thing because I wanted to!!
Everything around us is so materialistic.Half the time we students memories not to learn anything out of it but just to get staright ‘A's’ on our transcript. We slog our ass hard for years, learning and memorizing stuffs just to get that piece of sheet in our hand, called the "Graduation Certificate", which is believed to be the gateway to the professional world. But what remains unanswered is that half the thing we memories and learn during that time remains non-applicable so why the hell are we to do that memorizing thing? Materialism has its approach in every phase of life and one such major phase happens to be so called memory.
Memory remains!
Well someone said it right, everything comes with a package. Everything has its pros and cons. If they are good then how could the devil part its way from it! If its nostalgic for you then you wouldn’t argue it to be not agonizing and irritating and embarrassing at times. Certain memorize we want to jog about again and again but some never!!
So? Memory has its phase, which could be perceived differently by different people.
But before I pen down, guys, don’t you think at one point of time, irrespective of it being good bad or whatever, memories accumulate a whole lot of baggage which at one point of time seems would just burst out? Haha I know its funny but everything comes with a package.

Written in 2008.

Who exactly is to be blamed for this??

Have you ever wondered where exactly are we headed? whether it be depletion in the name of modernization or industrialization, corruption in the name of new government's never ending new promises or it be what it is being called as the new name of this decade-"Terrorism". I guess even nature had its toll which we saw in the name of Tsunami, earthquakes, hurricanes and floods. Everywhere we look around, things are just falling apart one by one.
When we talk about modernization what exactly do we understand ? Do we mean that we are trying to create a world where we are trying to create perfect sky scrappers and trying to come up with that state of the art technology where everything is possible in a moments wink? but when we go to the other end of it, we witness that in the aim of creating huge monuments we are depleting our nature of its beautiful land and its resources. In my country farmers are being deprived of their precious land with a very little compensation just in order to build some factory which as promised by the government would bring prosperity to the country hence these poor people are left with little or no choice than death. So, were we talking about prosperity ? I mean prosperity at the cost of one's life?

And talk about peace in this era. 'Peace and 21st century' sounds so 'Oxymoronish'. I think we have just lost the definition of peace. It is peace in the name of ever growing terrorism attacks which we get to know/witness very often. Its so disheartening to see innocent people dying in those attacks who become victims of such awful inhuman act. What I fail to understand is the fact that all those people who are themselves involved in this game of mindless ruthless act, why are they actually doing it? What are they gaining from taking people's life? Is the answer revenge and peace? But when has death brought peace to one's life? Or have we become so immoral that the human within fails to remind us of the goods and evils of life? Well plethora of such questions remain to be answered.
We all pray to god( not including those who are atheist), so if god exists then why isn't he doing anything about it? We all Hindus, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs pray to god. Is he even listening? May be he is. All these natural disasters for instance, Tsunami, earthquakes, floods which may be scientific but may be its a signal from him that if humans do not put an end to what they are doing then may be nature will have its own way of ending life on earth.
Or may be we have to go by the saying "the man who starts it he himself would have to finish", after all everything moves in a cycle:  if life began with a single particle then soon shall this humankind be reduced to the former. Is Global Warming the end stage of this tremendously paced human life?
well lets leave that to god and time.
If we think we still have time to get things back on track and save destruction from happening then we all shall make the earnest endeavor to do it else it may be way beyond saying"its never too late".

Written back in January 2008.